JIM: The days are getting shorter. RIK: The lines at Toys 'R' Us, longer. JIM: It's that time of year again. RIK: Kwanza. Hanukkah. The solstice. JIM: Christmas.
RIK: Holidays. Family. And the annual appearance of that time-honored holiday tradition: rank commercialism. JIM: How convenient of you to mention rapacious greed. Gives me a chance to vent. RIK: Here it comes: Daddy Jim's character-licensing rant. JIM: Well, it bugs me that some software publishers want you to shop for software just like you do for breakfast cereal. RIK: What's wrong with well-known fuzzy friends who induce a child to fall under the spell of an educational message?
JIM: Nothing. Trouble is, though, most kids' software based on popular characters is downright crummy. Disney's The Lion King lumbers immediately to mind. RIK: You're right, there. Slapdash animations. Tedious games. JIM: Turner Interactive's The Pagemaster is a little better but is still underwhelming. Choppy performance. Film clips with sound tracks that don't sync up right. RIK: In past months, you've complained about ImageSmith's weak Yearn 2 Learn Peanuts and Yearn 2 Learn Snoopy titles and Big Top's snoozy Hello Kitty series. JIM: A lethargic litany of licensed lousiness. RIK: But aren't you being a bit negative for this happy holiday season? Familiar TV and movie characters don't always mean wretched software. E*A Kids' Sesame Street Letters lives up to its PBS ancestry, and Big Top's Cartoon Toolbox Starring Felix the Cat lets kids have a blast making their own cartoons. JIM: OK, I'll temper my rant. Parents shouldn't shun all Hollywood software, but they should definitely approach with caution if there's a popular character on the box. RIK: More to the point, the best software stands alone -- it doesn't need characters from movies or TV. JIM: Let's give some examples from the best of the upcoming releases. They're not out yet, but you can be sure most of these will appear in stores well before that last mad holiday buying rush. RIK: As sure as there's an "X" in Christmas. JIM: For example, look for MECC's Maya Quest -- an inquiry into the disappearance of the Mayan civilization, for ages 10 to 16.
And don't miss Theatrix Interactive's Bumptz Science Carnival and Snootz Math Trek; they're fun exploration and skill-drill games for kids in primary school. RIK: I'd elevate Bumptz and Snootz from merely fun to downright hilarious. And for more holiday merriment, check out Pantsylvania, Headbone Interactive's trek through a trouser-centric town. JIM: Bad puns forever! For kids below the age of pun-sentience, have a look for My Make-Believe Castle, from LCSI; GeoSafari Multimedia, from Educational Insights; and Jack's House, from Kids Count Entertainment. RIK: Finally, being a shameless fan of most Edmark software, I'll bet that Thinkin' Things Collection 3 and Trudy's Time and Place House -- the newest offerings in the excellent ". . . Things" and ". . . House" series -- will join my all-time favorite-gift list.
JIM: Speaking of all-time favorites, shall we list a few?
RIK: Better yet, let's wash down a couple of pieces of Hanukkah gelt with some fortified eggnog and indulge in that great -- if embarrassing -- holiday tradition: caroling. JIM: You don't mean . . . ? RIK: Yes. Software in song. You at home, gather the kids by the fire and join in. JIM: Are you sure you want to do this? RIK: Trust me . . . .
RIK: Of course. And on the more academic side, my favorites are The Learning Company's Treasure and SuperSolver math series and Beginning Reading, from Sierra On-Line.
JIM: Don't forget creativity: Davidson's The Multimedia Workshop and two offerings from Broderbund, The Amazing Writing Machine and any of the Kid Pix family.
RIK: But enough of this dry recitation of titles. Let's wash down a couple pieces of Hanukkah gelt with some fortified eggnog and indulge in that great -- if embarrassing -- holiday tradition: caroling.
JIM: You don't mean . . .
RIK: Yes. Software in song. You at home, gather the kids by the fire and join in.
JIM: Are you sure you want to do this?
RIK: Trust me . . . .
It's a Children's Software Wonderland (to the tune of "Walkin' in a Winter Wonderland")
Holidays! Time for giving,
And extravagant living.
For kids on your list,
Not ready for Myst,
It's a children's software wonderland.
There are games that'll teach 'em.
Play's a great way to reach 'em.
Math Workshop is fun;
It's from Broderbund,
A top kids' company in wonderland.
Thinkin' Things are tons of fun to play with.
We like each collection: 3, 2, 1.
Captivate your kids (if they're creative),
'Cause only teasing siblings is more fun.
Claris software's top-drawer,
Wiggleworks, Earth Explorer,
And Headbone's Elroy,
That bug-lovin' boy,
Will chase his dog through software wonderland.
(Instrumental break. Kazoos, jugs, and nose flutes are all acceptable.)
Reader Rabbit's cloying but successful,
When it comes to teaching kids to read.
Living Books are clever and less stressful,
But cutesy Rabbit gives kids what they need.
Keep this one rule in mind,
When kids' software you're buyin',
"It's got to be cool,
And more fun than school,"
Then your kids will learn in wonderland;
Mousin' 'round in software wonderland;
It's a --
Children's software --
Wonderlaaaaaaand!
RIK: There. Was that so bad?
JIM: Yes.
Dads' Gift Directory
Rated products
Earth Explorer (4.5 out of 5 mice) Very Good/Outstanding (ages 10 and up; CD-ROM; list price, $99), Claris, Santa Clara, CA; 408-987-7000.
Elroy Goes Bugzerk (4 out of 5 mice) Very Good (ages 7 - 12; CD-ROM; list price, $50), Headbone Interactive, Seattle, WA; 206-323-0073. Big Top's Cartoon Toolbox Starring Felix the Cat mmmm (ages 7 and up; CD-ROM; list price, $55), Big Top Productions, San Francisco, CA; 415-978-5363.
Jack's House (3.5 out of 5 mice) Average/Very Good (ages 2 - 8; CD-ROM; list price, $40), Kids Count Entertainment, Evanston, IL; 708-272-9766.
The Lion King (2.5 out of 5 mice) Poor/Average (ages 3 - 9; CD-ROM; estimated street price, $40), Disney Interactive, Burbank, CA; 818-543-4300.
Math Workshop (4 out of 5 mice) Very Good (ages 6 - 10; CD-ROM; estimated street price, $40), Broderbund, Novato, CA; 415-382-4400.
The Pagemaster (3 out of 5 mice) Average (ages 6 - 12; CD-ROM; list price, $50), Turner Interactive, Atlanta, GA; 404-885-7972.
Sesame Street Letters (4 out of 5 mice) Very Good (ages 3 - 6; CD-ROM; estimated street price, $40), E*A Kids, San Mateo, CA; 415-571-7171.
Other Recommended Products
Bumptz Science Carnival and Snootz Math Trek, Theatrix Interactive, Emeryville, CA; 510-658-2800. GeoSafari Multimedia, Educational Insights, Dominguez Hill, CA; 310-884-1931. Living Books series, Living Books, Novato, CA; 415-382-7818. Maya Quest, MECC, Brooklin Park, MN; 612-569-1500. My Make-Believe Castle, LCSI, Highgate Springs, VT; 514-331-7090. Pantsylvania, Headbone Interactive, Seattle, WA; 206-323-0073. Reader Rabbit series, The Learning Company, Fremont, CA; 510-792-2101. Thinkin' Things series and . . . House series, Edmark, Redmond, WA; 206-556-8484. Wiggleworks series, Claris, Santa Clara, CA; 408-987-7000.
